14/12/2016 0 Comments don't judge me for my typosSo it seems that the idea of a daily diary is a good one, but in practice, perhaps another of those things I have to take the pressure off myself for... I set goals, I fall short. ** see upcoming rant on goals vs intentions. It's a little like the pressure I feel to be perfect all day, every day... for what? To appease the masses, to prove we are worthwhile, to ensure that we don't upset anyone? To hell with it. I'm done being perfect... so don't judge me for my typos... We are already up against it as a society. We have been taught we have to struggle and strive and push and pull at each other to 'get ahead' and 'do it right'. We judge, we shame, we paint each other as saints and demons, good and bad, right and wrong.
There's nothing wrong with doing our best, but its the fighting against the 'Im not enough' belief cultivated in us since birth, and by the education system for the formative years of our lives that I object to. It has become morphed into a twisted means to lord it over another person because we are 'supposed to be perfect' but we feel so acutely that we aren't that, and never will be. We strive to be better against an ideal that can never be reached. It's sad, and I'm over it. So don't judge me for my typos... I'm taking a stand - perfect is not what it is cracked up to be. In fact it undermines the very essence of what being human is all about. Believe me, I've tried it. We are here to EXPERIENCE IT ALL! To learn, discover, explore our world, each other, and ourselves in all our brilliance... there is no right or wrong, good or bad, perfect or imperfect in that. It is what it is. We are who we are, and we are ENOUGH. So don't judge me for my typos. These posts will be the perfect blend of an imperfect use of language, punctuation and sentence structure, and yes, perhaps a few spelling mistakes too - because my fngrs are fying so fst over the kyboard to get this post out before th next interuption and I may not have a chance to get back to the compurtr for another 4 days to fix it up. So there!!! We must be allowed to "make mistakes". What are mistakes anyway, but for a label we have put on our actions for things that don't work out the way we, or others, wanted or expected them to. Please please... don't judge me, or anyone else for their 'mistakes'... do you know what they go through on a daily basis? Do you know what it has taken for them to show up that day? Do you know if your carefully constructed comment born of 'care and concern' for the other will actually be the last criticism that breaks the camel's back? I get that people want to help and say things with the intention of 'helping'. I also get that sometimes we all judge. We all point out other people's mistakes to make ourselves feel better about our own lives, or to boost our own flagging ego... 'if someone else is wrong then I can be right', right? I get that I'm judging the person who I perceived to have judged me right now... because I'm not perfect and I am also judging myself as 'less than' also have insecurities and failings and an ego!!! I get it... But please don't judge me for my typos. ... praise me for my effort and my vision and my passion. If we are going to grow intelligent, emotionally stable, wise children into adults who are self responsible and accountable, accepting of life's ups and downs, resilient, willing to learn and grow in the face of their 'mistakes' we must STOP JUDGING each other. We must show them that it is OKAY to NOT BE PERFECT... That nobody is. I made a conscious choice to allow myself to publish blog posts with typos. I have accepted that I always do my best at all times and that sometimes my best will look like failure to another. I still feel it. It still hurts, but I'm also learning every day to accept the emotions and hurt that life gives us and to let the emotions flow through me rather than bottling it up, hence this blog. At the end of the day we all have to make our own value decisions: will we get our thoughts and feelings out, put ourselves out there and live our life?... or will we let yet another day slip by where we don't show up in the world for fear that we may be perceived as 'less than' or 'not enough'? I choose to put myself out there as me..."not-perfect-but-happy-to-be-me-Kristy". ...and I write these posts for me. They're cathartic and therapeutic... It's my public act of personal bravery, not to mention a major achievement for my day given the no less than 20 interruptions, limited internet and the constant stream of sidetracks that come with homeschooling, working and parenting all at once. Today I posted. I parented. I schooled... and it's not perfect. WOOHOO!! Round of applause please!! ;) ---- If anyone is reading this... I hope to encourage you to be brave too - to be less than perfect - find it in yourself to know that IT'S OKAY. Do it for your kids... and for yourself. You will learn that there are people who will love you anyway, and your children will learn that it isn't a death sentence to be themselves in all their perfect imperfection. xx Kristy
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